a letter to Pakistan

Dear Pakistan …

I miss you..! Do you remember I used to visit you every year? Every day I looked forward to the summer vacations …to the day I would fly to you. The word ‘fun’  was attached to you.

All the feeling and emotions would pop up the word ‘Pakistan!’ .

I had all the luxuries which you could expect in a foreign country  but the warmth of relations  was only felt when I stayed with you.

 Late night outings ,cricket matches ,crazy cousins ..all were part of the bubbly and memorable trips on your soil. The uncontrollable laughter magically captivated us. We loved you and wanted to be with you forever.

Today, I live with you  and yet I miss you.

I miss the good old ‘Pakistan’. I remember your ‘ city of lights.It was  my favorite. Its all dark and gloomy now. It smells of blood. All I can see is scared eyes .There are only two kinds of people left. Scared and barbaric.

Every news is heart breaking. Being optimistic is becoming difficult each day. Every day  a hope shatters.

Innocent lives are laid down . We promise ourselves that these sacrifices will not go to waste. But they do. Things do not change. Each day has a new horrific story to tell.

I miss the ‘botal wali coke’. We used to get our deposit back on returning the bottle. Time changed.The bottle started being used as a weapon in universities.

I remember the long list of visitors from morning to night. Today every visit and phone call alarms me. ’Is everything fine?’

A little delay in someone’s flight forces me to switch on the t.v. My heart starts to beat faster when I receive a phone call from my child’s school. I silently pray for her safety before picking up the phone.

As I am writing these lines, I have tears in my eyes. I terribly miss you Pakistan.! I wish to see you rise again.I want to see you beautiful again ….without  intolerance, without  hatred …without barbarism.

I miss the peaceful Karachi beach. Recalling the soothing wind there can work as a medicine for me even now. The sand stuck in your head for weeks, eating  biryani with a bottle of coke, sitting for hours in the cool sea . I close my eyes and think about you. I can smile now.

Pakistan! You will rise. You have to. You have given us so much. Please do not take it back. I want to be mesmerized by you once again.

Yours truly,

sahar